| wow..i just realized how self involved and completely, utterly selfish
i can be. I bitched about "people changing" on September 11 and didn't
even remember what day it was. I'm sure there have been other times but
that's the "last straw" so to speak... if you can say that's the last
straw about yourself. - -" but anyway, I'm going to actively start
changing the things i dont like about myself. Makes sense huh? lol,
it's surprising how hard it is to actually do it. BUT i am =) so, wish
me luck :D.
Oh and, time management is DEFINITELY something I need to work on so no
more xanga for a while. Hope everyone has fun at your homecomings! and
uh.. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's if I make it that far.
Probably not but just have a good one 
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| holy shit. holy shit holy shit.
jeez... people sure can change.
i'm like stunned or something. i dont even know. holy shit. holy heart in frucking throat shit.
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| Okay so a tornado is apparently headed my way, a hurricane's in the
neighboring state, dinner's ready (most importantly of course) but I
have to get this off my chest.
I was (not) doing homework when I stumbled upon one of those links in
people's profiles. I clicked and--dear god--it wasn't a xanga. I was
pretty riveted (it doesn't take much) and decided to skim through
whatever the person was rambling about...except, halfway through the
first sentence, I realized that this was some valuable stuff. Not only
was the writing coherent (an unnattainable goal for too many of us) but
it actually gave insight into perhaps some of the most meaningful and
simplest aspects of life. The real discovery, however, didn't have
anything to do with what the entries were written about. I was
surprised, shocked, stupified even (yes i love that word! ), by the fact that the person writing
these vulnerably open and profound entries was the last person I
expected. I realized then how much people can really surprise you and
how pointless it is to ever think that no one knows what you're going
through, to feel alone...because it simply isnt true. Anyway, it was a
comforting thought to me and I had to get it out in case I ever started
feeling alone or w/e, i could tell myself not to and point to this
entry. lol...  maybe.
i wonder if the person i'm talking about knows i'm talking about them. HEHEhe.
antologia by shakira is a great song.
okay tornado coming! bye!
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| in our AP lang presentation today:
ellie: "We used choppy sentences and the typical structure for our myth...and...."
me: "And we also used various aspects of oral tradition like the
repetition of certain phrases... such as 'so wide', 'so long', 'so
hard'.... ahem.yeahthatsall."
back at my seat amid significant snickering: me TRYING to redeem
myself: "I was talking about the north pole separating--because Santa
clause
couldnt--and you know how our story--and then i only said that--no
like--SANTA WAS BUSY HO-ING!.. ..."
mrs. rumfelt: "ooookay. SO. all of your stories were nice and creative.
I basically wanted to see how you guys thought and uhm, yes these
projects definitely gave insight on how all of your brains work."
*anonymous whisper* "yeah... now we know what's on her mind...."
my story was about santa clause and the NORTH POLE ( long, hard, and used to be wide once upon a time) and the origin of his "ho ho ho" greeting. sheezus.
------
ps. sorta.
i wanna do what jack johnson is doing in the pic next time it pours. anyone wanna join me?
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| it's thundering outside but there's not a drop of rain. the sky is
still light, bright in a muted way so that your eyes are drawn to its
strange, piercing lack of color. the floor shivers beneath you as
lightning somewhere very far away reveberates under your floorboards
and in your bones. the air is so quiet and still, and crisp but soft,
and heavy but weightless that you gasp and think that this must be what
it feels like further up. so this is how the sky finally descends upon
us, you think, with you slouched in a chair by the window with the
thunder trembling through you. the electrons tumbling to the sky and
crashing back feel like they've all come into your heart and your lips
part and your cells vibrate and your blood boils and freezes and you
are perfectly still as everything inside you disengages, disfunctions,
disintegrates. Then you realize, with your body going and your mind
gone and your heart with the soul that has just dashed away, you
realize that today is the perfect day to feel.
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